Welcome to my site.

This is a repository for much of my lived experience.

If I knew in my twenties where I would be in my fifties I would have struggled to believe it.

My younger years were a real struggle for survival. I was a regular runaway child by the age of six, with an unhappy home life, one that was replete with almost daily beatings and food withdrawal as a punishment, an alcoholic step father with a burning temper and a mom of six who struggled to cope.

When you don't belong at home, you find a home elsewhere.

So no surprise that I became a rebel and found that place in street gangs.

No wonder also that I was in and out of juvenile courts for repeated petty crimes, that I fought at soccer games with opposition fans and had an abiding hatred of authority.

A sharp sense of survivors humour meant I was always popular with my peers.

I spent time in institutions, detention centres and British prisons. My liberty removed, I found myself in rigid systems based on punishment, control and repression that reinded me of home and only solidified my slow burning resistance to what I saw as a society riddled with social injustice.

That those who were already dispossesed and disadvantaged, or came from damaged social backgrounds, never shown much by way of love or guidance, were merely fodder to be processed in the mills of societal failure.

There was no attempt at rehabilitation. I witnessed prison riots and inmate suicide attempts, anguish, anger, pain and occasional moments of joy.

On my final release, and with effort and self patience over many years, I managed to slowly turn my ship of life around.

I became a dad and learned what it means to give love and kindness to another. I learned to be able to forgive myself and eventually to offer the same to others.

I gave up my old ways and cut my connections to old habits that had constantly caused me pain, despair and failure. I studied at college and read up on psychology, sociology and politics.

Then I volunteered at a mental health centre in my home town. I had a friend who worked there and he persuaded me to try.

He told me it was difficult to find people to help. That people were afraid that folk with mental health issues would be dangerous. That perhaps mental illness was contagious. 

They needed folk who could listen and provide some empathy to those who came in off the street.

They needed staff who would be calm in a crisis and offer a bridge to connect people up to support for various worries, challenges and ailments they were struggling with in their daily lives.

Despite my initial caution, I soon fitted in and was surprised at my realisation over time that I actually enjoyed the work. That I took real pleasure from being helpful to others.

Being "of service" one might say.

Putting my own issues and woes aside and helping find strategies and resolutions for others.

Along with my parenting duties, I had found a second sense of purpose. The boulders in my river of self were starting to be removed!

After some while I was offered a paid job and became a fully fledged support worker, immersing myself in work and further studies and for seven years, becoming a senior and mentor for new recruits.

I was relentlessly solution focused on recovery thinking rather than accepting defeatism and soon set up my first hearing voices support group for people diagnosed with schizophrenia and who were troubled by irritating and distracting voices.

Thus began a journey of discovery for me. I learned to create safe spaces for story sharing and learned a great deal by simply listening.

Doctors began referring people directly to this growing group and soon I was invited to speak at conferences in the UK and abroad on the benefits of these gatherings.

I met with other radical thinkers and activists who fought for better outcomes, campaigners and awareness raisers who fought against ignorance and stigma for those facing prejudice and negativity because of mental health labels.

Issues that are misunderstood too often in the media and in public consciousness.

In 2010 I gave up paid work and went on the road. I had invitations to new adventures. Ships, planes and trains to catch. New horizons to explore.

The USA beckoned, as did Egypt, Iceland, Spain, France, Germany and hosted often by kind hearted fellow comrades who wished me to bring my messages of change and who gave me places to stay, invited me to speak.

I became involved with Mind Body and Spirit practitioners, took part in conferences and gatherings here also and earned much from my teachers along the way.

I ran meditation and relaxation groups, gave talks on the pyramids of Egypt and sacred geometry and ran story telling sessions drawn from the traditions of Zen.

In Berlin I learned some NVC (non violent communication) skills, trading my talks and sharings for free coaching in beautiful locations and then studied for a year to become a certified English Teacher.

I got to teach in international language schools and have coaching sessions for clients online. I really do love teaching!

I thank every helping hand and open heart I have met along the way. Who kept my boat afloat and pointed to my next safe harbour.

I have arrived now where my old school English Teacher suggested that I might one day, a trainer, a teacher and a transformed person who is finally arriving in a place of peace within himself!

Below are some links to my helpful websites.

Please do take a look and help support me to continue supporting others.

Thank you so much for reading.

Ivan

Website 1

https://www.paintingwithwords.co/

This is my Teaching English site. I am an exprienced and qualified friendly teacher and have some time for coaching and supporting English learners, mostly evenings and weekends. I have classroom teaching experience in international language schools in Germany. I love helping others to improve and grow their skills.

Email me to enquire on prices and availability if you or someone you know needs some support on their language learning journey.

Website 2

https://www.zentricity.co.uk/

This one is dedicated to all things Zen.

It features my "Tales from Zen" talks, brilliant educational videos and here I offer my skills with my "Zen Tarot mirror" readings. Perfect tools for getting clear and moving forward into the future.

I have added some informative lectures and stories to inspire and enjoy. Music to soothe the soul.

Website 3

https://www.visionsandvoices.co.uk/

20 years of mental health support work, 10 years as an advocate for vulnerable individuals in hospitals, care homes and the community.

Helping to set up and facilitate support groups for people dealing with difficult voice hearing experiences eventuallyled me to this destination:

the building of my popular hearing voices site, filled with useful information, opportunities for awareness raising, self education, inforrmative videos and with training offers and talks.

Hear and read inspiring recovery stories, ask for free coping better with voices guides.

Lots of recommended reading tips, intriguing and informative perspectives designed to help present a balanced view on a perplexing and often confusing topic.